Sleeping
What better way for a family to help their toddler achieve independence than by encouraging him to learn to sleep alone? Sleep provides a natural opportunity to foster the separation process, because at least eight hours every day of the year a toddler does it. While many blogs offer helpful tips, I believe that the key to understanding your child's bedtime habits is viewing them as issues of separation.
Sleep is a problem for toddlers precisely because it coincides with their developmental task of becoming separate from you. And of course, nothing during this age comes easily. Sleeping alone in a room without a mother or father can bring out all a toddlers anxieties about being on his own.
It's understandable that sleep-deprived parents want their child's bedtime issues resolved immediately. When parents reach the point where they can't stand another night of exhaustion, it can be hard to be patient. But remember that a toddler will not become a good sleeper overnight. There are suggestions that should help in the ups and downs of sleep, but they are not a total cure for problems.
Separation is a slow process affected by how parents react to their toddler's growing independence. For instance, do you feel lonely or worried when your child isn't right next to you? Like toilet training and giving up bottles or pacifiers, a child learns how to be a good sleeper when she feels that her parents have faith in her ability to become one.
Additionally, what happens during a toddler's day is going to affect his night. If he had a fight with his friend or if he has a new baby-sitter, he very well might spend half the night calling out for his parents. Or if he didn't get enough hugs and cuddles because his parents were out most of the day, he might wake to get them. Some children will never become long sleepers no matter what their mother and father do. While many toddlers sleep between twelve and fourteen hours daily, others do quite well on eight to ten hours.
Every family must decide on what sleeping arrangements are best suited to their own beliefs and cultural standards. Do you think a baby should stay in her parents' room until she is one? Or do you think a three-month-old should be sleeping in her crib in her own room? Were you brought up sharing a room with siblings? Did your parents not mind you spending part of the night in bed with them? Or were you one of those children who always enjoyed cuddling up under your blanket with your teddy bear in your own bed?
It may be hard to believe when your toddler cries out for you at 3 A.M., but sleep can be another source of pleasure, solace, and joy for your toddler just as playing, eating, running, and talking can be.
I know you care about your children. I'm a parent too. I've more tips about parenting smart kids to share with you. Start guiding your children to success!
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